Casting Beyond the Sea
184-Filipinas are Not Docile and Submissive

184-Filipinas are Not Docile and Submissive

December 29, 2021

I am making a playlist called Straight talk to foreigner men about Filipinas on my YouTube channel that will contain short videos and some might make the foreign man cringe.  You might wonder why I would do that when I want to help men find a Filipina to marry.  I do want that, but I don’t want there to be any surprises.  Marriage to a Filipina is hard work like with anything else.  I want to clear the air of some misconceptions about Filipinas, that you’ll need to know before trying to find one, and how to handle it. 

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond the Sea for help for foreign men looking to marry a Filipina. I married a Filipina in 2015.

Filipinas are not naturally docile and submissive. Men have heard about Asian women being submissive to their husbands, so the thought is that he will be on easy street with a Filipina, and she will be at his beck and call and do everything he wants her to do.  That would be a big mistake. She might even think she is submissive, but it might not be to the degree the foreign man has in mind. 

I wanted a submissive wife, as I have mentioned before, the Bible instructs a wife to be submissive to her husband for the good of the marriage, however, it is my observation that this is a challenge to most women, even if they say they want to be a submissive wife.

You might have heard that a Filipina wants to take good care of her husband, is a good lover, likes to avoid conflict, is quiet and soft spoken.  While that may be true, it doesn’t mean she is docile and submissive. Why should you know this?  Because you would be severely disappointed when you find out she has a strong will, which probably comes from needing to learn how to survive and get things done. Listen to the podcast for why I feel this way.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

183-Your Children Must Respect Your Younger Filipina Wife

183-Your Children Must Respect Your Younger Filipina Wife

December 27, 2021

The topic of a foreigner looking for a young wife is very common anymore that it’s really not a big deal. He wants her for her youth, beauty, companionship, fun, energy and so on, but in cases where the foreign man has children about the same age as the Filipina, it is likely to be a big deal to the children. I am about to share a hard-line approach with you. I will build up to it, I am going to break it to you slowly.

Maybe I shouldn’t. You can always correct me if you think I am wrong. I can always delete this podcast. I have watched enough “90-day fiancé” shows to know that sometimes a man will get grief from his relatives. Sometimes they seem genuinely concerned, other times they seem unwilling to accept his decision no matter what.

I want to express my thoughts on how to deal with this, so be prepared to leave comments as I expect there to be a lot of dissent.  Since the backbone of this channel is discussing anything that pertains to a foreigner’s relationship with a Filipina, I must have the spine to not avoid a topic that isn’t going to please everyone. I am not here to entertain you; I am here to prepare you. I should probably add this video to the Controversial Collection playlist for Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube.

While my sentiments make perfect sense to me, and I admit I don’t have children, this is how I feel about it. I am open to hearing what others say about this, who have dealt with unhappy family members. I may be wrong, you know? This is how I feel about it right now. I tend to draw lines and go all-in to what matters to me. If you disagree, let me know. These are my impressions.

I am able to imagine how children might feel about me dating or marrying a young woman approximately their age.  I know how people on the outside of the family view a situation like this, and it is about the same as someone inside the family.  I was looking for a younger woman from the Philippines when it was painfully clear I wasn’t getting anywhere in my own country. I have never felt any shame about it, and I have no trouble talking about it, I know it is possible to desire such a woman to marry with honorable intentions, and NOT do it to treat her as a sex object.

While other men can attest to the same thing, and perhaps even their own children would support him, that isn’t always the case. When that happens, there exists a situation where the children will let their father know that they disapprove of his choice of a wife.  They might be concerned about being ridiculed by their friends and people that know them. They might be worried that they just lost out on their family inheritance. They could just not want the Filipina, in even a very small way, to make it seem like she is taking the place of their mother.

It’s true that a man wanting a younger wife is nothing new, you don’t hear as much about the behind-the-scenes struggle that can happen between the siblings and their own father. Here is where I am ready for some backlash.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

182-8 Things That Will Test Your Patience With a Filipina

182-8 Things That Will Test Your Patience With a Filipina

December 19, 2021

A lot of men have married a woman from the Philippines and many are trying to follow suit. We hope for companionship, sex, happiness, purpose in life. That can be had, but likely will require a large amount of patience.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help for the foreigner in his relationship with a Filipina.

I have been married since May of 2015 and would consider my marriage a good one but any marriage to even the best woman will not be without strife, quarreling, differences of opinion. The very first description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 is love is patient. That tells me it is of utmost importance.  If I say I love my wife but am not patient with her, then I don’t love her. The need for patience is mentioned often in the 870-some videos I have on Love Beyond The Sea.

If you are like me and have high expectations for your relationship or your marriage with a Filipina, patience is going to need to be a virtue.  Marriage might be the environment where patience is needed the most. In my experience, here are situations patience will be tested. I will start with the most obvious one-you! Listen to the podcast for all eight.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

181-Filipino Family Importance is Growing on Me

181-Filipino Family Importance is Growing on Me

December 18, 2021

It was probably after I married my Filipina in 2015 that I began to pick up on the idea that family is important in the Philippines. I knew basically nothing about the Philippines when I married my wife, not even where to find it on a map. I wanted a good wife and I got one! Today’s podcast is about the impact the significance of family in the Philippines has had on me. 

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and as time goes by, we will cover as many things together as possible that pertain to a foreigner and Filipina relationship. Feel free to leave a comment and to get notifications for upcoming videos. Family is a top priority to a Filipino, so it’s helpful to learn what you can about this dynamic as you look for a Filipina to marry.

The family unit in the Philippines is where my wife could be understood, accepted, protected, supported, made to feel secure and loved. There are families in America where I am, that have similar qualities but it may be that Filipinos take it all to a higher level. Here are some ways Filipino family importance is growing on me.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

180-Can You Be Yourself With a Younger Filipina?

180-Can You Be Yourself With a Younger Filipina?

December 16, 2021

In any good relationship, both people should be able to be themselves, not feeling the weight of needing to conform to the other’s expectations. Is this somehow different in a foreigner Filipina union considering the differences in culture, and often, age gap? Can you be yourself or will you have to act younger around a younger wife or be embarrassed when out in public? After all, there is a certain amount of social disapproval of the type of relationship many who watch these videos are looking for.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and I will share what I have learned since being married to my Filipina wife since May of 2015. If you haven’t gotten far into this kind of journey yet, perhaps I can help with preparing you for it, you’re welcome to leave comments and if you already have a Filipina, I welcome you sharing your experiences.

My concern picking this topic was just the idea of how marrying a younger Filipina might be tempting to make a man alter the way he normally thinks and what he stands for, and act differently around her or even around his friends when he is with his wife. I’d like to think that when I am with Aiza alone, or with some friends or even with her and her family, that I am the same person in all scenarios.

Each should see the good in each other.  Each should not want to change essential things about the other. We should be complimentary of each other’s strengths and accept the weaknesses. It is good to allow each other to be themselves. I am not suggesting we should have carte blanche to behave anyway we want and that has to be accepted without consequences. I want to begin with this disclaimer. Listen to the podcast for 11 ways to know you can be yourself with a younger Filipina.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

179-Are Future Shared Goals Possible in an Age Gap Marriage?

179-Are Future Shared Goals Possible in an Age Gap Marriage?

December 14, 2021

I’ve made some podcasts and videos related to having an age gap in your marriage and this is another one that will go in that playlist. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I will do my best to raise topics that I think would be good for a foreigner seeking a Filipina to know at some point.

Today’s podcast is about setting future goals in an age gap marriage. Is it even worth it? What kind of goals would they be? Do you have to marry someone the same age in order to plan a future? For the sake of this podcast, I will assume they might have ten to twenty years together at the start of their marriage or from the time she immigrates to his country.

Yes, it is worth it.  Are two people supposed to start a life together and have no plans for the future? They should, for the good of their relationship.  The main obstacle for this is that he, generally speaking, doesn’t have a lot of life left depending on his age and health, compared to the younger, healthier Filipina. Another one could be that they might not have a lot in common, but as I have pointed out in other podcasts, they can discover things to seek to enjoy together so that it becomes a common interest they can share later on.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

178-7 Ways to be a Good Teammate in Marriage

178-7 Ways to be a Good Teammate in Marriage

December 12, 2021

Let’s talk about 7 ways to be winning teammates in marriage. I married a woman from the Philippines in 2015 and some say we are a good couple. Here are some reasons why that is. Being good teammates takes intentionality. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for Podcasts that will help you know how to have a good marriage to I think, any woman, and I have experience with a Filipina.

Support and encourage-My wife is less verbal that I am, she always says I talk so much, but this is a way for me to offer encouragement. I encourage by saying things, by being aware of good qualities and pointing them out. My wife on the other hand, is more likely to encourage by just being there for me, and being consistent day to day, which I appreciate.

Support and encouragement is needed when she immigrates to the foreigner’s country.  She’ll need a lot of it. Even after the relationship is established, or they’ve been together a few years, nothing must be taken for granted. It would be great if we always tried to outdo each other in being good to each other, but that isn’t realistic. There will be times one will need extra attention paid to them.  It isn’t 50/50. I can see later on in my life, since I am a lot older than she is, needing a lot of caregiving from her.  If she wanted it to be 50/50 she could have married under different circumstances.

I can help my wife by building her up, by accentuating the positive things about her, by making her feel good about herself, and by encouraging her to not try to do more than she is capable, to help her prevent getting burned out. She is relied upon at work, she is going to college. Wow, what an amazing woman. She needs my encouragement.

Listen to the podcast for more ways to be a good teammate in marriage.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

177-Complement Don‘t Compete to Win in Marriage

177-Complement Don‘t Compete to Win in Marriage

December 10, 2021

Many times, I hear the comment “What could you possibly have in common?” regarding marrying a younger woman from the Philippines. Possibly, not a lot, but the foreigner and the Filipina still need to become good teammates to have a successful marriage. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea if you want to learn about the ins and outs, the practicalities of a relationship with a woman from the Philippines. I married my wife in Davao City Philippines in May of 2015, that’s when we became a team, but both of us have had to learn how to play like a team, and today’s video is about the teamwork aspect of being married to a Filipina. This is so important that I will focus on only three today and seven more in another video.

“We win as a team, we lose as a team”, “we are either united or we are divided”, “individual glory or success in not important”. Let’s get into why these clichés are true in marriage.

As a lifelong sports fan, many times I have heard the expression “There is no I in team”. That’s because marriage isn’t about each individual being fulfilled and accomplishing their will, it is about those individuals doing whatever it takes for the marriage to be fulfilling and successful, to be a perennial winner.

The best way to look at it is that these two individuals need to learn how to live like one unit, they need to be unified, even if there is an age gap, a different culture, even if the marriage was arranged. It sounds great at first, to be married, but the problems arise when the individual assumes too much importance.  It must be all about the team.

For me that’s a good thing because I recognize I am not smart enough or talented enough to carry my marriage to my Amazing Aiza. I don’t want to be a lone wolf either, being single all my life, I knew I needed to be married and I knew that marriage doesn’t come easily or even naturally, it is so different from being single. Fortunately for me, I married a woman who is strong where I am weak. I don’t have to be perfect. Maybe you’ve heard Filipinas make good wives, and they do, but playing like a team isn’t automatic and involves some things that I want to talk about today.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

176-8 Concessions Needed After Marrying a Filipina

176-8 Concessions Needed After Marrying a Filipina

December 9, 2021

As you know by now, I am a big proponent of finding a Filipina to marry. I don’t deny that there has been a lot of heartache for men who have been scammed by unscrupulous Filipinas. Any time a man is going to marry someone from another culture and if they have a large age gap, some concessions will need to be made, that’s what I want to talk about today.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help for foreigners wanting practical information about having a good relationship with a woman from the Philippines.  Here is the definition of concession-

Noun: concession

The action of conceding, granting, or yielding something.

Considering the Filipina will not know anyone but you in her new country, won’t know where anything is, might not be familiar with the currency, not be able to drive or have a job yet, that will require extra time on the foreign husband’s part and I would like to think he would accept that responsibility as a way to show his Filipina bride that from now on, he is going to work to make her happiness and wellbeing a priority of his.

There is no place for selfishness in a marriage, and especially early on, concession will need to be made-The action of conceding, granting or yielding something.

To make this even more clear, I want to clarify by adding the word deference as the reason why concessions are made, the motivation for it. Here is how deference is defined-

Noun: deference

respectful submission or yielding to the judgment, opinion, will, etc., of another.

respectful or courteous regard: in deference to his wishes.

There you go. Respectful yielding to the preferences of another out of courteous regard. I am not a supporter of a so-called 50/50 arrangement. I prefer I give 100 percent and leave my wife’s response up to her. If I treat her this way, I won’t have to be concerned what percentage she gives me. We’ve been married since May of 2015 and barely knew each other, and hadn’t met in person before we got married. Since I am satisfied with her as a wife and she is happy with me as a husband, this formula is working. I understand that I need to initiate conceding and deferring to her in order to show her I am going to do all I can to make this work.

I much prefer this to the idea of “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”, you do this for me, I will do this for you”, or “we’ll do it my way this time, and next time your way”. That is compromising, but I am going beyond that. This would be my perspective regardless of who I married, but since I married a woman from the Philippines, executing that will look different. So, what kind of concessions are in order? Listen to the podcast for 8 concessions needed after marrying a Filipina.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

174-Do My Filipina and I Spend Too Much Time Together?

174-Do My Filipina and I Spend Too Much Time Together?

December 7, 2021

No one has suggested to me that my wife and I spend too much time together, but once in a while I think about that. I know many people want to get married but aren’t so keen on moving away from some familiar activities after they do. I had been told by someone when I met my wife online, that we were spending too much time chatting (about 4 hours a day) and I disagreed with that. I can rationalize the amount of time we spend together now that we are married, and besides, together is my favorite place to be. After 6.5 years of marriage and growing this relationship, I cherish it and her more each day.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea podcasts and Love Beyond The Sea videos on YouTube. I will share musings like this, and thoughts on aspects of the journey of a foreigner seeking a Filipina to marry. I believe I can help from my experience. Let’s talk about the idea of how much time you should spend with your Filipina once you are finally able to be together, as in our case, with her having immigrated to America.

I think I do spend a lot of time with my Filipina wife. I wish I could spend even more time with her so we could experience different things with each other. Sometimes people have concerns about two people spending an inordinate amount of time together. They say you have to have a life of your own, you have to let the other person have a life of their own. I think the dynamics of seeking and finding a wife in the Philippines require more time spent together once married. Here are some reasons why in the podcast.

Your Wife May Be Here Christian Filipina https://www.christianfilipina.com/?affid=1096

Visa Help Filipino Visa https://www.filipinovisa.com/?affid=1096

Buy my 547-page resource Meant to be-A Match Made in Heaven  https://lvbts.gumroad.com/l/gOPZd

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