Casting Beyond the Sea
151-The Benefit of Complimenting Your Filipina Often

151-The Benefit of Complimenting Your Filipina Often

September 23, 2021

“Flattery will get you everywhere”, they say. We all like to hear compliments as long as they are sincere.  Your Filipina is no exception. Flattery is normal in the dating process, but this needs to turn into specific compliments after marriage.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea.  I want to offer help to foreign men who are interested in dating and marrying a Filipina. I have been married to my Filipina wife since May 10, 2015. This is a channel for higher Fil-West education. My YouTube channel is Love Beyond The Sea.

Flattery differs from being complimentary in that flattery has a connotation of insincerity in order to gain something for oneself. A compliment is a sincere acknowledgment of something pleasing about someone else. I think that the longer one has been married to a Filipina, the longer the list of compliments should become.

I call my wife “My Amazing Aiza”, which encompasses all of her good qualities. I have it written on her checkbook and in our on-line banking, that’s how her account shows up.  I enjoy complimenting her and I know this is a powerful tool for you to gain much respect from your wife or the Filipina you are dating. I let her know how much I value her in my life, that I need her in my life.

We live in a very negative, complaining, argumentative world. I like sports and like to look at certain message boards but there is so much complaining and fighting about silly things.  Someone can’t mention nice weather without someone else complaining about how it isn’t nice for everyone!  Just ridiculous comments. People can hide behind a keyboard and spew all kinds of nonsense and hate and stay safe behind their keyboard.

In this podcast I will show you some ways that can help you be able to better compliment your Filipina with the words you say.

https://www.liveabout.com/importance-of-compliments-in-marriage-2302258

150-The Importance of Your Future Plans Together with your Filipina

150-The Importance of Your Future Plans Together with your Filipina

September 18, 2021

When I began to look for a Filipina wife online, my goal was to get married and I didn’t think much further ahead than that. Going through the visa process was a matter of “hurry up and wait”, then when she arrived in America after eight months, we were finally together, continuing to get to know each other.  So much anticipation to get started and thinking about the present, but it’s also important to consider the future. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for insights about many aspects of a foreigner and Filipina relationship. There are videos on Love Beyond the Sea.

It would be tempting to finally be together, then the foreigner kind of settle into the lifestyle he had before they got married, which would be a mistake. If he married someone from his own country, probably same city, she would already have been able to work on her future plans and her husband would be aware of them and it is possible they have discussed their future plans for being together. The Filipina might have absolutely no idea of her future there in her new country and how her future fits in with her husband’s.

In order to build a strong, lasting relationship with a Filipina you have petitioned to your country, a lot of time will need to be spent together early on, and that could be for a couple of years. There will be a lot discovered about each other when they are actually living under the same roof and have responsibilities to each other. An important part eventually needs to be a blending or combination of their future plans. This is made a little complicated if there is a large age gap, which there usually is, because they don’t plan on dying at nearly the same time. 

Listen to the podcast for my thoughts on the importance of the future plans you make with your Filipina, espcecially your wife.

149-How to Protect Your Filipina‘s Reputation

149-How to Protect Your Filipina‘s Reputation

September 13, 2021

When a foreign man marries a Filipina and brings her to his country, immediately, in the eyes of some people, she has a bad reputation, and she just arrived. She had this reputation in the opinion of some, before she married the foreigner. That’s not fair of course, but I believe her husband needs to protect his Filipina’s reputation, and that’s what we will talk about today. 

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for a multitude of information I think will be helpful if you are interested in a Filipina from considering her, to dating her and to marrying her. Love Beyond The Sea is my YouTube channel.

It has been said it is difficult to undo a bad reputation and it is difficult to undo a good one. If you are human it is going to bother you when you come across objections to your relationship.  Yes, there will be people warning you about your choice of a girlfriend or spouse, there will be others predicting or even telling you the evil things she is going to do to you. I love my wife, and I don’t mind swinging back to protect her reputation. Here are some ways to do that.

Speak well of her to others-This is a good idea whether she is from another country or not. I am not saying to make things up to say, but what you know to be good about her, tell this to coworkers, people at church, your doctors, financial planner, significant people in your life.  Speak well of her to your friends, they probably will have their reservations about her too. Most importantly perhaps, is to speak well of your Filipina to your family. They will be the most likely to say to your face very directly if they have misgivings about her. 

The reason I am emphasizing this is because I would know about the stereotypes and misconceptions people have towards marrying a younger woman from southeast Asia. I am offended and take it personally when someone even hints of something unsavory or uncomplimentary of my wife. It is not advisable to retaliate by slugging someone, so you can either ignore them or you can protect her reputation, to stand up for her, by hitting them with the truth. 

You know her better than anyone else in your world and I would suggest muting people’s negative thoughts by sticking up for her and telling them why you care about her. I want my wife’s reputation to precede her! I know that when they eventually meet her, they will agree with me.

Speak well of her to her-This should be easy since you are with her the most. By complimenting her often, by accentuating the positive, by affirming to her why you married her and are committed to her, she will assume you would say the same to others about her. This is confirmed to her when she hears someone say “Hey, your husband thinks highly of you”. If you like something about her, you must let her know and tell her why you appreciate it.

Speak well of her to others so she can see it-This can be done if you are in mixed company and she will really appreciate this. It will mean a lot to her that you casually mention to them about something good she did or something good about her. Another way of doing this is through social media. The main one I utilize is this YouTube channel or on someone else’s. The podcasts I mentioned can be subscribed to on Podbean and that is listed in the description box.

Since so many people could potentially hear and see it, she will be grateful that you post something nice about her. Naturally, avoid saying something just to make her feel good; be sure it is something she knows is true because she has heard it from you multiple times. That’s one side of the coin, but there is the other side that has to do with being negative about her, even if it happens to be true.

Listen to the podcast for more ways to protect your Filipina's reputation here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

148-11Tips to Let a Filipina Know You Are Serious About Her

148-11Tips to Let a Filipina Know You Are Serious About Her

September 9, 2021

I did a live stream one time after thinking over a response to a Filipina viewer who said she was concerned her American boyfriend might not be serious about her, although she was in love with him. I won’t go into details here as I did in the live, but I did the live stream for all the Filipinas who, like her, are frustrated that their love isn’t being reciprocated, and wonder if they should discontinue the relationship.

Today, I am going to make similar comments for western men so they don’t make the mistake of moving too slowly and giving the impression they are not serious about a special Filipina, but maybe they aren’t serious about her? Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and to Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube for many videos about a foreigner-Filipina relationship that will succeed. Comments are welcome and sharing the videos can help other men find love beyond the sea.

Many Filipinas are eager to marry-I’m not sure all western men realize just how eager some Filipinas are to get married. They don’t want to take years to accomplish this. In our case, it took less than eight weeks for us to get married, starting the spousal visa petition with what information we could, before even meeting in person. How this could possibly be is the subject for another time, but this suffices to say that if she feels a certain comfort level and trust has been established, she won’t hesitate to accept a man’s proposal. Don’t be afraid to feel like you could give her the impression you are getting serious too soon. If you are serious, she may very well love to hear that.

Talk about your past-This is the first way. I think she will be drawn to a man who is able to be honest about his past, and that includes, eventually, some things he’s not proud of. Don’t be reluctant to talk about your past even if you think it was nothing special. Just be real, be honest. If you have had problems with some area of your life, just bringing it up in the right context can help her see that you realize you are not perfect and have been learning from your past mistakes and want to be better. Doing this will help her to see you are serious about her because you are revealing about your past, which is not something you’d likely do with someone you are just casual with.

When my wife first began to open up to me, that’s when I began to feel like I was falling in love with her, that we were starting to click, that I just might be talking to a woman who I could be married to.

Eventually I revealed to my wife that I hadn’t had a relationship in a very long time, to which she said “the past is the past” and didn’t criticize me for it or put me down.

Another way a western man can let a Filipina know he is serious about her is to Talk about your feelings-I think a Filipina would like for the person she is married to, to be able to share his feelings with her. Often this doesn’t come easy for guys, but when she realizes you are willing and able to open up to her about what makes you tick, about what’s going on inside, I believe she will like that she is starting to know you better and can relate to you more. I also think this helps to build her trust. Once you can open up to her, she will probably tell you more about herself.

Listen to the podcast for more ways to let a Filipina know you are serious about her, here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

Questions to ask to gauge compatibility    https://youtu.be/y_xkDHwqlo0

Questions to ask a Filipina online    https://youtu.be/AK9VqxwI3W8

Questions to ask before marrying a Filipina    https://youtu.be/ofGTg2cIxx8

Chatting with several of chatting with one?    https://youtu.be/bwkfTjFVKi4

 

147-You Have Mail! Send a Love Letter to your Filipina

147-You Have Mail! Send a Love Letter to your Filipina

September 5, 2021

This is a short podcast with a helpful idea you can use to show some love to your Filipina. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help and perspective for pursuing and marrying a Filipina, and get notifications for upcoming videos. Today I will explain an out of the box way to do something romantic for your Filipina. Remember that the pursuing doesn’t stop with marriage.

What I have in mind is to write her a hand-written letter, a love letter, and mail it to her, even if you are married and living under the same roof! She won’t expect it and will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Hopefully you are sending her regular if not daily text messages letting her know how much you value her, how much she means to you or just to say hi.

I need to hear ideas like this because I am not a romantic person by any means, I think some men consider themselves romantic, and they are better at thinking of ways to do that, but it certainly doesn’t come naturally to me.

I used to hear women wanted a romantic guy and I couldn’t figure out just exactly what I was supposed to be doing. How was I supposed to be romantic when I didn’t even have a girlfriend? Was I romantic? How would I know? Since I married my Filipina wife in 2015 I can finally be romantic!  Being romantic can also include the day-to-day gestures like displays of affection and kind words.

Putting these words down on paper allows you to take your time and think about what to say. You don’t have to write a novel either. Some ideas on how to do this are to write about-

Events you have shared together such as special vacations, special events, your honeymoon, your wedding, etc.  “Honey, I was just thinking today about the time we…”

The time you met each other-The time she did something for you that you haven’t forgotten about-Regular things she does for you, little things-Future plans together-What you are thankful for-Your commitment to her-Romantic dates you’ve had-tell her why you love her-How she makes your life better. Is there a woman in the world who wouldn’t appreciate that? No.

I will post a link in the description box about “Things to consider before writing a love letter”. Jordan Gray gets the credit for the article in that link. I would encourage you to read it, and to give writing a love letter a try.  I believe you will be glad you did and it will be appreciated by the Filipina you are dating or are married to.

https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/write-love-letter-to-make-them-cry/

146-What is a Real Man?

146-What is a Real Man?

August 30, 2021

Since I talk so often about the need for a man to marry a woman, and the types of behaviors that make a marriage work and qualities that women want in a husband, I thought I should make a video about the definition of a man. What is a real man? These days people are confused about what a male or a female is, but what about what makes a man? Can someone be a male who lacks male virtues? I think being a man goes beyond your DNA.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, a channel for mature marriage-minded men. I am sure this upload will rankle some guys but we might as well talk about masculinity. Do you have examples in your life about real masculinity? I will start with some quotes from amessagewithabottle.com-

“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.” – Albert Camus

“The real man is one who always finds excuses for others, but never excuses himself.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“We do not admire the man of timid peace. We admire the man who embodies victorious effort; the man who never wrongs his neighbor, who is prompt to help a friend, but who has those virile qualities necessary to win in the stern strife of actual life. ” – Theodore Roosevelt

“A man does what he must — in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers, and pressures — and that is the basis of all human morality.” – John Kennedy

“Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can’t go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else’s success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.”  – Kevin Bacon

“Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. – Theodore Roosevelt

I like that one. It makes me think of transitioning from being single to being married. Marriage is a “bigger job”. Any selfishness, vice, lack of vision etc. is going to become a problem in marriage. That’s why it is so important to be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses when you get married. She needs to not have inflated expectations of you. We are all prone to weakness at times and so will she. Marriage is a big step up, but I think the most rewarding one.

“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.” – Norman Mailer.

Do you get that impression too? A few years ago, I remember getting sick and tired of seeing men portrayed in commercials and television shows as dufuses.

“The stronger a man is, the more gentle he can afford to be.” – Elbert Hubbard

 

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” – Chuck Norris

 

“A woman isn’t complete without a man. But where do you find a man – a real man – these days?” – Lauren Bacall

https://amessagewithabottle.com/being-a-man-quotes/ 50+ Quotes About Being A Man That Every Guy Should Read

https://www.gotquestions.org/biblical-manhood.html Biblical Manhood

145-Semen Retention? Coitus Reservatus? No Fap? Why Not Just Get Married?

145-Semen Retention? Coitus Reservatus? No Fap? Why Not Just Get Married?

August 21, 2021

Not exactly dinner table conversation but here at Casting Beyond The Sea I like to talk about anything marriage related, and today’s topic does involve marriage. I believe most people need to be married because of statements in the Bible but am appalled at the number of men who say they have gone MGTOW or are going to live a stoic life style, accepting that you can’t change women, you can’t change society, they’re going to be good being alone. What a bunch of poppycock. I will of course post the article I will be covering in the description box.

Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, a channel that wants to make marriage great again, and the notion of semen retention and coitus reservatus is very strange. It isn’t my idea and I will go through some so-called benefits (mental, spiritual, physical), side effects, how it is different from NoFap, how to do it, (not that you should) and risks. No doubt, I will toss in my two cents since I was single for 53 years until I got married. I can understand the desire for people without a wife to do things like this. Most of us struggle with sexual control. I will include this is the Controversial Collection Playlist on Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube, where you can see my thoughts on love dolls, and virtual mates, among other things.

https://manmatters.com/blog/what-is-semen-retention-benefits-side-effects-more/

https://www.gotquestions.org/better-to-marry-than-to-burn.html

 

144-Help Your Filipina Through These Struggles

144-Help Your Filipina Through These Struggles

August 18, 2021

Having a Filipina wife immigrate to your country to be with you is an exhilarating experience! You’ve taken all the time you needed to get to know her and meet her, worked through the visa process and now she is safe with you, but there will be struggles ahead.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and learn what I’ve learned in six years of marriage to a Filipina that I married in only 54 days.

I want to help men consider and pursue a Filipina for marriage and I hope men already married to them can find this channel useful. You can get notifications for upcoming videos too. You will encounter the same type of struggle any married couple experiences but there are a few ways she may struggle and need your support. I have videos on Love Beyond The Sea you can see on YouTube among others.

If you felt like you were giving her a helping hand out of poverty, she is still going to need a helping hand. It might be in making friends, finding a job, learning how to drive, learning where everything is in your city. In fact, it is possible her struggles began when she got off the plane.

Homesickness, considering the distance, is bound to happen and beyond all those miles are her family and friends. I will link the video I have on dealing with homesickness in the description box. I doubt she will be jumping for joy that she has left her homeland, nevertheless, she is glad that a foreign man proposed to her and married her, and she is prepared to start a new life in another country, but leaving home is going to sting for a while. It might appear after a few days when it all dawns on her that she can’t just go outside, hop into a scooter side car, and be driven to see her family.

What you can do is not pressure her to adapt right away, and allow her to feel sad about leaving home.  If you treat her well, she will be a good wife. Part of that is acknowledging the strong bond she has with her family, and allow her as much time as she needs to reconnect with them on social media.

Listen to the podcast for talk about the things you are most likely to struggle with when you and your Filipina are together for the first time in your country.

How to Help your Filipina through Homesickness https://youtu.be/xcHSqM0P6Gk

143-Gambling with the Future Philippines and China

143-Gambling with the Future Philippines and China

August 16, 2021

I am not at all a fan of gambling and am very disappointed to see the words gambling and Philippines together. What a shame. There are people in the Philippines who are addicted to gambling. I wouldn’t have thought so, but where there is poverty, there is a desire for a quick fix, which usually solves absolutely nothing as people just blow money they earn and are worse off than at the start. I will link an article for you about gambling in the Philippines and will read some of it. It came from the LA Times and is from 2019. It is called China has a new casino: the Philippines.

One of the things I have stressed hard with my wife is that I do not want her involved with gambling of any kind. I don’t care if it is those stupid scratcher tickets or whatever it is, I just don’t want to see it. If you have seen my videos, you are aware that I do not believe in controlling your wife. As the head of this household, there will be no involvement with gambling of any kind! When I say I do not approve of any of the many ways to gamble, I am putting my foot down on something that I believe is of no value and can be ruinous to a person. I want to hear your comments about this. I don’t intend to impede doing something that is for her good, but I don’t see gambling as being for her good, hence, I don’t want it here.

Instead of just denigrating gambling, what I do is emphasize the real ways to earn income, to make wealth. I didn’t gamble to earn my retirement and I don’t want my wife involved with it at all. I have always opposed gambling when it came time to vote. What I want her to know about earning wealth is that it comes from these five ways-

Work

Savings

Investments

     Diversification

Inheritance

Gifts

Here are some things from the article pertaining to gambling and the Philippines:

https://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg-philippines-china-gambling-20190701-story.html

142-Benefits to the Single Life My Unpopular Opinion

142-Benefits to the Single Life My Unpopular Opinion

August 13, 2021

I am a marriage supporter who wants to make marriage great again. Do I think there isn’t anything good about being single? I will link an article from psychologytoday.com called 17 Benefits of the Single Life-The special strengths of single people and the meaningfulness of single life.
I’ll be real honest with you. I already knew that MGTOW was leading people into a lifetime of sorrow and loneliness, but after spending two hours leaving comments one night to a video called Why It’s Better to be Single-4 Reasons, I reckon he is a stoic. I wondered if things are worse than I thought they were because it has almost 300,000 views and 15,000 likes. His channel has over 920,000 subscribers. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for the “other” side to this; that marriage is best for most people.
I noticed on someone else’s YouTube channel on stoicism there is even a video on semen retention, no thanks. Another one was called How to Be Alone. I was alone for 53 years before getting married, maybe I should have written a book. I certainly wasn’t content to be alone and not have sex, yet apparently, there is a growing movement of people who like to not have sex. 

From the article-“people are too often stereotyped and stigmatized. They are pitied while married people are celebrated. Yet the single life can be tremendously meaningful and fulfilling. It is time for a more accurate, research-based portrayal of single people and single life—one that recognizes the real strengths and resilience of people who are single, and what makes their lives so meaningful.”

I used to think single people were pitied while married people are celebrated, like she says, but not anymore. While church pastors were telling me from the pulpit that marriage was the most fulfilling and best for almost everyone, privately I seemed to hear a different message; that singleness was best and marriage is tough and you won’t have as much sex as you think.  After I got married, I found MGTOW videos that say marriage is for fools, so singleness must be for the wise. Now I find stoicism videos about the joys of being alone. Frankly, I don’t see much stigmatization of singles these days.

I will run through the points made about the benefits of being single and respond to them.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201608/17-benefits-the-single-life Benefits of the Single Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmW5jeYDaq4 Why It’s Better to be Single-4 Reasons

http://www.psychpage.com/family/brwaitgalligher.html The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o9Y7bE7gAFMwlN8y02IO5eqgKqmJNUA Cringeworthy Things Said to Single Christian Men

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