Continuing with experiences we’ve had that have caused some conflict, but I have learned from. By the way, my wife has learned and adjusted as well in nearly six years of marriage. Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for practical relational information in a marriage. I don’t advocate just having a girlfriend, that seems silly for an adult. Get yourself a wife, that’s what you need, that’s where the benefits are. Here are some tidbits from the podcast:
Learning to trust-She has left everything to be my wife. I told her even before we married that as much as possible, I would defer to her unless I had a good reason to say no. There was a time she wanted me to know about a possible financial opportunity for us (I won’t say what it was exactly), and I wasn’t sure about it but I asked her if she thought this was the best way to use the money right now then we could do it.
Biblical submission-A very much misunderstood truth. Some believe the Bible says we are all to submit to each other but that is wrong. Children-Parents, Workers-Bosses, People-Government, Wives-Husbands. The Bible even says “The head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.” (1Cor.11:3) I think in part 3 of the Stinking Thinking series, I talk about this more in depth.
There are many passages about this. Here are three keys for this video-
- Husbands and wives need the Holy Spirit to fulfill their biblical roles of husband the protector and provider and the one who sacrifices his life, and the wife as submissive helper. Remember Genesis 2:18?
- IF the husband is loving his wife the way Ephesians 5 teaches him to do, giving up his life for her, the wife is in an environment where submission is made easier.
- Being the head means-influence, responsibility, servant leadership.
I have a multiple part series on ‘How to earn the respect of your Filipina” that I believe will be helpful to you to be the kind of man your wife will want to submit to.
Food for thought-When we were first together, we went grocery shopping a lot. I have to tell you I love my wife’s body. I tell her all the time how her little 4’11” 92 pound body drives me crazy! When I saw her reaching for potato chips, doughnuts, pizza, I was aghast. She jokes with me that she wants to “put on 10 kilos”. When I would point out why so many foods are not really food at all and will make you unhealthy, she took it as me trying to control what she ate. I want her to eat good food, I don’t want her to eat like many American women. She would comment now and then how I wanted to control everything she eats which was an exaggeration.
The early bird gets the….night owl frustrated-Wouldn’t you know it, but I married a night owl when I am an early bird. I don’t think anything good happens after 8 pm! I have almost always worked a first shift job and like to take my time in the morning getting ready, which includes breakfast and a little internet. My wife is not an early bird. I get up an hour and a half before leaving for work and my wife gets up ten to twelve minutes before she leaves.
Have you seen the instructions?-Another way that resulted in conflict was that my wife had not been used to using a lot of modern appliances before. I am very proud of her for learning how to use them, however early on I thought she was overloading the dishwasher, and washer and dryer. It is something that I’ve decided to just let go for the sake of harmony. I tell myself that number one she probably believes she is doing her best to organize the space in dishwasher and number two that eventually she will see for herself if some of the dishes won’t be clean. Number three is that I am very happy she insists it is her responsibility to take care of the house so I need to learn to back off some and let her do the job.
Clothes minded-After my wife arrived, she started buying me clothes that she thought would make me look younger and better. I rarely wear any of my other clothes now but they are still in the closet. I may have balked a little at first but once again I needed to remind myself that she really was making me dress better and that shows she cares about how I look and how others see me. At work she made me a sharp dressed man. Some of her coworkers asked her if I am a supervisor which I am not. I appreciate what my little woman has done here.
Hair we go again-When we got married in the Philippines, I knew she didn’t like my hair style as she is used to seeing short hair on men in the Philippines. Before she arrived to be with me, I cut my hair on my own just to please her. Since she has gotten here, she has wanted me to cut it even shorter which I have obliged. I have to admit it has been an improvement, at least I am liking it now.
Stay tuned for the final part of this series that can help you get off to a good start with your Love Beyond The Sea!