Casting Beyond the Sea
152-Should Your Filipina Be More Important than Your Family?

152-Should Your Filipina Be More Important than Your Family?

September 29, 2021

This podcast is about something I have observed on the internet.  It’s not a surprise when a foreigner marries or is engaged to a younger woman from a region like southeast Asia, and some of his family members object. They have the usual misconceptions that all of these women are only looking for a payday, only looking to help their family financially.

Your siblings might assume their father or brother is brain dead and can’t think for himself. If the man’s parents are still alive, they can become intrusive too. This can become very frustrating and I have a solution.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help for foreigners seeking a Filipina and I hope those married to one will find this channel helpful as well. Don’t forget to get notifications for upcoming videos and leave a comment. There are videos on Love Beyond The Sea.

The foreigner has to do what’s best for him.  If he thinks he has done his due diligence and wants to marry a younger Filipina for example, his family absolutely must respect that and back off of their criticism.  They can disagree with his choice of girlfriend but when they become married, I think they should know their place of importance to him, and it should be that his Filipina wife or wherever she’s from, is number 1 and that’s not going to change.  Well, this one sounds like it belongs in the Controversial Collection Playlist. Check that out for other relationship related videos you don’t see every day. I want you to leave comments.

My mother lives with my wife and I, and I am not rude about it, but she knows who I will support in our household. My wife is a good woman and blends in well but if she were to behave inappropriately, I would need to talk to my wife about it, naturally, but she still is number 1.  I have told my wife that we need to support each other, at least publicly, whether we are right or wrong.

Here’s my view-His family either accepts that or not. Any attempt to cause friction between the westerner and his younger Filipina wife, could result in cutting that family member off from him. Any maligning of her name or character will result in the same.  If someone is going to be disruptive, there is no reason to be around them.  The wife comes first. 

Listen to podcast for more perspective here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

151-The Benefit of Complimenting Your Filipina Often

151-The Benefit of Complimenting Your Filipina Often

September 23, 2021

“Flattery will get you everywhere”, they say. We all like to hear compliments as long as they are sincere.  Your Filipina is no exception. Flattery is normal in the dating process, but this needs to turn into specific compliments after marriage.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea.  I want to offer help to foreign men who are interested in dating and marrying a Filipina. I have been married to my Filipina wife since May 10, 2015. This is a channel for higher Fil-West education. My YouTube channel is Love Beyond The Sea.

Flattery differs from being complimentary in that flattery has a connotation of insincerity in order to gain something for oneself. A compliment is a sincere acknowledgment of something pleasing about someone else. I think that the longer one has been married to a Filipina, the longer the list of compliments should become.

I call my wife “My Amazing Aiza”, which encompasses all of her good qualities. I have it written on her checkbook and in our on-line banking, that’s how her account shows up.  I enjoy complimenting her and I know this is a powerful tool for you to gain much respect from your wife or the Filipina you are dating. I let her know how much I value her in my life, that I need her in my life.

We live in a very negative, complaining, argumentative world. I like sports and like to look at certain message boards but there is so much complaining and fighting about silly things.  Someone can’t mention nice weather without someone else complaining about how it isn’t nice for everyone!  Just ridiculous comments. People can hide behind a keyboard and spew all kinds of nonsense and hate and stay safe behind their keyboard.

In this podcast I will show you some ways that can help you be able to better compliment your Filipina with the words you say.

https://www.liveabout.com/importance-of-compliments-in-marriage-2302258

150-The Importance of Your Future Plans Together with your Filipina

150-The Importance of Your Future Plans Together with your Filipina

September 18, 2021

When I began to look for a Filipina wife online, my goal was to get married and I didn’t think much further ahead than that. Going through the visa process was a matter of “hurry up and wait”, then when she arrived in America after eight months, we were finally together, continuing to get to know each other.  So much anticipation to get started and thinking about the present, but it’s also important to consider the future. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for insights about many aspects of a foreigner and Filipina relationship. There are videos on Love Beyond the Sea.

It would be tempting to finally be together, then the foreigner kind of settle into the lifestyle he had before they got married, which would be a mistake. If he married someone from his own country, probably same city, she would already have been able to work on her future plans and her husband would be aware of them and it is possible they have discussed their future plans for being together. The Filipina might have absolutely no idea of her future there in her new country and how her future fits in with her husband’s.

In order to build a strong, lasting relationship with a Filipina you have petitioned to your country, a lot of time will need to be spent together early on, and that could be for a couple of years. There will be a lot discovered about each other when they are actually living under the same roof and have responsibilities to each other. An important part eventually needs to be a blending or combination of their future plans. This is made a little complicated if there is a large age gap, which there usually is, because they don’t plan on dying at nearly the same time. 

Listen to the podcast for my thoughts on the importance of the future plans you make with your Filipina, espcecially your wife.

149-How to Protect Your Filipina‘s Reputation

149-How to Protect Your Filipina‘s Reputation

September 13, 2021

When a foreign man marries a Filipina and brings her to his country, immediately, in the eyes of some people, she has a bad reputation, and she just arrived. She had this reputation in the opinion of some, before she married the foreigner. That’s not fair of course, but I believe her husband needs to protect his Filipina’s reputation, and that’s what we will talk about today. 

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for a multitude of information I think will be helpful if you are interested in a Filipina from considering her, to dating her and to marrying her. Love Beyond The Sea is my YouTube channel.

It has been said it is difficult to undo a bad reputation and it is difficult to undo a good one. If you are human it is going to bother you when you come across objections to your relationship.  Yes, there will be people warning you about your choice of a girlfriend or spouse, there will be others predicting or even telling you the evil things she is going to do to you. I love my wife, and I don’t mind swinging back to protect her reputation. Here are some ways to do that.

Speak well of her to others-This is a good idea whether she is from another country or not. I am not saying to make things up to say, but what you know to be good about her, tell this to coworkers, people at church, your doctors, financial planner, significant people in your life.  Speak well of her to your friends, they probably will have their reservations about her too. Most importantly perhaps, is to speak well of your Filipina to your family. They will be the most likely to say to your face very directly if they have misgivings about her. 

The reason I am emphasizing this is because I would know about the stereotypes and misconceptions people have towards marrying a younger woman from southeast Asia. I am offended and take it personally when someone even hints of something unsavory or uncomplimentary of my wife. It is not advisable to retaliate by slugging someone, so you can either ignore them or you can protect her reputation, to stand up for her, by hitting them with the truth. 

You know her better than anyone else in your world and I would suggest muting people’s negative thoughts by sticking up for her and telling them why you care about her. I want my wife’s reputation to precede her! I know that when they eventually meet her, they will agree with me.

Speak well of her to her-This should be easy since you are with her the most. By complimenting her often, by accentuating the positive, by affirming to her why you married her and are committed to her, she will assume you would say the same to others about her. This is confirmed to her when she hears someone say “Hey, your husband thinks highly of you”. If you like something about her, you must let her know and tell her why you appreciate it.

Speak well of her to others so she can see it-This can be done if you are in mixed company and she will really appreciate this. It will mean a lot to her that you casually mention to them about something good she did or something good about her. Another way of doing this is through social media. The main one I utilize is this YouTube channel or on someone else’s. The podcasts I mentioned can be subscribed to on Podbean and that is listed in the description box.

Since so many people could potentially hear and see it, she will be grateful that you post something nice about her. Naturally, avoid saying something just to make her feel good; be sure it is something she knows is true because she has heard it from you multiple times. That’s one side of the coin, but there is the other side that has to do with being negative about her, even if it happens to be true.

Listen to the podcast for more ways to protect your Filipina's reputation here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

148-11Tips to Let a Filipina Know You Are Serious About Her

148-11Tips to Let a Filipina Know You Are Serious About Her

September 9, 2021

I did a live stream one time after thinking over a response to a Filipina viewer who said she was concerned her American boyfriend might not be serious about her, although she was in love with him. I won’t go into details here as I did in the live, but I did the live stream for all the Filipinas who, like her, are frustrated that their love isn’t being reciprocated, and wonder if they should discontinue the relationship.

Today, I am going to make similar comments for western men so they don’t make the mistake of moving too slowly and giving the impression they are not serious about a special Filipina, but maybe they aren’t serious about her? Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and to Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube for many videos about a foreigner-Filipina relationship that will succeed. Comments are welcome and sharing the videos can help other men find love beyond the sea.

Many Filipinas are eager to marry-I’m not sure all western men realize just how eager some Filipinas are to get married. They don’t want to take years to accomplish this. In our case, it took less than eight weeks for us to get married, starting the spousal visa petition with what information we could, before even meeting in person. How this could possibly be is the subject for another time, but this suffices to say that if she feels a certain comfort level and trust has been established, she won’t hesitate to accept a man’s proposal. Don’t be afraid to feel like you could give her the impression you are getting serious too soon. If you are serious, she may very well love to hear that.

Talk about your past-This is the first way. I think she will be drawn to a man who is able to be honest about his past, and that includes, eventually, some things he’s not proud of. Don’t be reluctant to talk about your past even if you think it was nothing special. Just be real, be honest. If you have had problems with some area of your life, just bringing it up in the right context can help her see that you realize you are not perfect and have been learning from your past mistakes and want to be better. Doing this will help her to see you are serious about her because you are revealing about your past, which is not something you’d likely do with someone you are just casual with.

When my wife first began to open up to me, that’s when I began to feel like I was falling in love with her, that we were starting to click, that I just might be talking to a woman who I could be married to.

Eventually I revealed to my wife that I hadn’t had a relationship in a very long time, to which she said “the past is the past” and didn’t criticize me for it or put me down.

Another way a western man can let a Filipina know he is serious about her is to Talk about your feelings-I think a Filipina would like for the person she is married to, to be able to share his feelings with her. Often this doesn’t come easy for guys, but when she realizes you are willing and able to open up to her about what makes you tick, about what’s going on inside, I believe she will like that she is starting to know you better and can relate to you more. I also think this helps to build her trust. Once you can open up to her, she will probably tell you more about herself.

Listen to the podcast for more ways to let a Filipina know you are serious about her, here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

Questions to ask to gauge compatibility    https://youtu.be/y_xkDHwqlo0

Questions to ask a Filipina online    https://youtu.be/AK9VqxwI3W8

Questions to ask before marrying a Filipina    https://youtu.be/ofGTg2cIxx8

Chatting with several of chatting with one?    https://youtu.be/bwkfTjFVKi4

 

147-You Have Mail! Send a Love Letter to your Filipina

147-You Have Mail! Send a Love Letter to your Filipina

September 5, 2021

This is a short podcast with a helpful idea you can use to show some love to your Filipina. Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help and perspective for pursuing and marrying a Filipina, and get notifications for upcoming videos. Today I will explain an out of the box way to do something romantic for your Filipina. Remember that the pursuing doesn’t stop with marriage.

What I have in mind is to write her a hand-written letter, a love letter, and mail it to her, even if you are married and living under the same roof! She won’t expect it and will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Hopefully you are sending her regular if not daily text messages letting her know how much you value her, how much she means to you or just to say hi.

I need to hear ideas like this because I am not a romantic person by any means, I think some men consider themselves romantic, and they are better at thinking of ways to do that, but it certainly doesn’t come naturally to me.

I used to hear women wanted a romantic guy and I couldn’t figure out just exactly what I was supposed to be doing. How was I supposed to be romantic when I didn’t even have a girlfriend? Was I romantic? How would I know? Since I married my Filipina wife in 2015 I can finally be romantic!  Being romantic can also include the day-to-day gestures like displays of affection and kind words.

Putting these words down on paper allows you to take your time and think about what to say. You don’t have to write a novel either. Some ideas on how to do this are to write about-

Events you have shared together such as special vacations, special events, your honeymoon, your wedding, etc.  “Honey, I was just thinking today about the time we…”

The time you met each other-The time she did something for you that you haven’t forgotten about-Regular things she does for you, little things-Future plans together-What you are thankful for-Your commitment to her-Romantic dates you’ve had-tell her why you love her-How she makes your life better. Is there a woman in the world who wouldn’t appreciate that? No.

I will post a link in the description box about “Things to consider before writing a love letter”. Jordan Gray gets the credit for the article in that link. I would encourage you to read it, and to give writing a love letter a try.  I believe you will be glad you did and it will be appreciated by the Filipina you are dating or are married to.

https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/write-love-letter-to-make-them-cry/

Podbean App

Play this podcast on Podbean App