Casting Beyond the Sea
146-What is a Real Man?

146-What is a Real Man?

August 30, 2021

Since I talk so often about the need for a man to marry a woman, and the types of behaviors that make a marriage work and qualities that women want in a husband, I thought I should make a video about the definition of a man. What is a real man? These days people are confused about what a male or a female is, but what about what makes a man? Can someone be a male who lacks male virtues? I think being a man goes beyond your DNA.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, a channel for mature marriage-minded men. I am sure this upload will rankle some guys but we might as well talk about masculinity. Do you have examples in your life about real masculinity? I will start with some quotes from amessagewithabottle.com-

“Man is the only creature who refuses to be what he is.” – Albert Camus

“The real man is one who always finds excuses for others, but never excuses himself.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“We do not admire the man of timid peace. We admire the man who embodies victorious effort; the man who never wrongs his neighbor, who is prompt to help a friend, but who has those virile qualities necessary to win in the stern strife of actual life. ” – Theodore Roosevelt

“A man does what he must — in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers, and pressures — and that is the basis of all human morality.” – John Kennedy

“Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can’t go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else’s success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.”  – Kevin Bacon

“Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones. – Theodore Roosevelt

I like that one. It makes me think of transitioning from being single to being married. Marriage is a “bigger job”. Any selfishness, vice, lack of vision etc. is going to become a problem in marriage. That’s why it is so important to be honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses when you get married. She needs to not have inflated expectations of you. We are all prone to weakness at times and so will she. Marriage is a big step up, but I think the most rewarding one.

“Because there is very little honor left in American life, there is a certain built-in tendency to destroy masculinity in American men.” – Norman Mailer.

Do you get that impression too? A few years ago, I remember getting sick and tired of seeing men portrayed in commercials and television shows as dufuses.

“The stronger a man is, the more gentle he can afford to be.” – Elbert Hubbard

 

“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” – Chuck Norris

 

“A woman isn’t complete without a man. But where do you find a man – a real man – these days?” – Lauren Bacall

https://amessagewithabottle.com/being-a-man-quotes/ 50+ Quotes About Being A Man That Every Guy Should Read

https://www.gotquestions.org/biblical-manhood.html Biblical Manhood

145-Semen Retention? Coitus Reservatus? No Fap? Why Not Just Get Married?

145-Semen Retention? Coitus Reservatus? No Fap? Why Not Just Get Married?

August 21, 2021

Not exactly dinner table conversation but here at Casting Beyond The Sea I like to talk about anything marriage related, and today’s topic does involve marriage. I believe most people need to be married because of statements in the Bible but am appalled at the number of men who say they have gone MGTOW or are going to live a stoic life style, accepting that you can’t change women, you can’t change society, they’re going to be good being alone. What a bunch of poppycock. I will of course post the article I will be covering in the description box.

Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, a channel that wants to make marriage great again, and the notion of semen retention and coitus reservatus is very strange. It isn’t my idea and I will go through some so-called benefits (mental, spiritual, physical), side effects, how it is different from NoFap, how to do it, (not that you should) and risks. No doubt, I will toss in my two cents since I was single for 53 years until I got married. I can understand the desire for people without a wife to do things like this. Most of us struggle with sexual control. I will include this is the Controversial Collection Playlist on Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube, where you can see my thoughts on love dolls, and virtual mates, among other things.

https://manmatters.com/blog/what-is-semen-retention-benefits-side-effects-more/

https://www.gotquestions.org/better-to-marry-than-to-burn.html

 

144-Help Your Filipina Through These Struggles

144-Help Your Filipina Through These Struggles

August 18, 2021

Having a Filipina wife immigrate to your country to be with you is an exhilarating experience! You’ve taken all the time you needed to get to know her and meet her, worked through the visa process and now she is safe with you, but there will be struggles ahead.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and learn what I’ve learned in six years of marriage to a Filipina that I married in only 54 days.

I want to help men consider and pursue a Filipina for marriage and I hope men already married to them can find this channel useful. You can get notifications for upcoming videos too. You will encounter the same type of struggle any married couple experiences but there are a few ways she may struggle and need your support. I have videos on Love Beyond The Sea you can see on YouTube among others.

If you felt like you were giving her a helping hand out of poverty, she is still going to need a helping hand. It might be in making friends, finding a job, learning how to drive, learning where everything is in your city. In fact, it is possible her struggles began when she got off the plane.

Homesickness, considering the distance, is bound to happen and beyond all those miles are her family and friends. I will link the video I have on dealing with homesickness in the description box. I doubt she will be jumping for joy that she has left her homeland, nevertheless, she is glad that a foreign man proposed to her and married her, and she is prepared to start a new life in another country, but leaving home is going to sting for a while. It might appear after a few days when it all dawns on her that she can’t just go outside, hop into a scooter side car, and be driven to see her family.

What you can do is not pressure her to adapt right away, and allow her to feel sad about leaving home.  If you treat her well, she will be a good wife. Part of that is acknowledging the strong bond she has with her family, and allow her as much time as she needs to reconnect with them on social media.

Listen to the podcast for talk about the things you are most likely to struggle with when you and your Filipina are together for the first time in your country.

How to Help your Filipina through Homesickness https://youtu.be/xcHSqM0P6Gk

143-Gambling with the Future Philippines and China

143-Gambling with the Future Philippines and China

August 16, 2021

I am not at all a fan of gambling and am very disappointed to see the words gambling and Philippines together. What a shame. There are people in the Philippines who are addicted to gambling. I wouldn’t have thought so, but where there is poverty, there is a desire for a quick fix, which usually solves absolutely nothing as people just blow money they earn and are worse off than at the start. I will link an article for you about gambling in the Philippines and will read some of it. It came from the LA Times and is from 2019. It is called China has a new casino: the Philippines.

One of the things I have stressed hard with my wife is that I do not want her involved with gambling of any kind. I don’t care if it is those stupid scratcher tickets or whatever it is, I just don’t want to see it. If you have seen my videos, you are aware that I do not believe in controlling your wife. As the head of this household, there will be no involvement with gambling of any kind! When I say I do not approve of any of the many ways to gamble, I am putting my foot down on something that I believe is of no value and can be ruinous to a person. I want to hear your comments about this. I don’t intend to impede doing something that is for her good, but I don’t see gambling as being for her good, hence, I don’t want it here.

Instead of just denigrating gambling, what I do is emphasize the real ways to earn income, to make wealth. I didn’t gamble to earn my retirement and I don’t want my wife involved with it at all. I have always opposed gambling when it came time to vote. What I want her to know about earning wealth is that it comes from these five ways-

Work

Savings

Investments

     Diversification

Inheritance

Gifts

Here are some things from the article pertaining to gambling and the Philippines:

https://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg-philippines-china-gambling-20190701-story.html

142-Benefits to the Single Life My Unpopular Opinion

142-Benefits to the Single Life My Unpopular Opinion

August 13, 2021

I am a marriage supporter who wants to make marriage great again. Do I think there isn’t anything good about being single? I will link an article from psychologytoday.com called 17 Benefits of the Single Life-The special strengths of single people and the meaningfulness of single life.
I’ll be real honest with you. I already knew that MGTOW was leading people into a lifetime of sorrow and loneliness, but after spending two hours leaving comments one night to a video called Why It’s Better to be Single-4 Reasons, I reckon he is a stoic. I wondered if things are worse than I thought they were because it has almost 300,000 views and 15,000 likes. His channel has over 920,000 subscribers. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for the “other” side to this; that marriage is best for most people.
I noticed on someone else’s YouTube channel on stoicism there is even a video on semen retention, no thanks. Another one was called How to Be Alone. I was alone for 53 years before getting married, maybe I should have written a book. I certainly wasn’t content to be alone and not have sex, yet apparently, there is a growing movement of people who like to not have sex. 

From the article-“people are too often stereotyped and stigmatized. They are pitied while married people are celebrated. Yet the single life can be tremendously meaningful and fulfilling. It is time for a more accurate, research-based portrayal of single people and single life—one that recognizes the real strengths and resilience of people who are single, and what makes their lives so meaningful.”

I used to think single people were pitied while married people are celebrated, like she says, but not anymore. While church pastors were telling me from the pulpit that marriage was the most fulfilling and best for almost everyone, privately I seemed to hear a different message; that singleness was best and marriage is tough and you won’t have as much sex as you think.  After I got married, I found MGTOW videos that say marriage is for fools, so singleness must be for the wise. Now I find stoicism videos about the joys of being alone. Frankly, I don’t see much stigmatization of singles these days.

I will run through the points made about the benefits of being single and respond to them.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/201608/17-benefits-the-single-life Benefits of the Single Life

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmW5jeYDaq4 Why It’s Better to be Single-4 Reasons

http://www.psychpage.com/family/brwaitgalligher.html The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8o9Y7bE7gAFMwlN8y02IO5eqgKqmJNUA Cringeworthy Things Said to Single Christian Men

141-Finding Mutually Enjoyable Activity with Your Filipina

141-Finding Mutually Enjoyable Activity with Your Filipina

August 12, 2021

People always bring up the idea that when a foreigner marries a Filipina, they have nothing in common and therefore cannot possibly have a good marriage. Even if they had nothing in common, that doesn’t mean they can’t be interested in similar things and find ways to share it together.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for helpful advice I have learned from being married to my Filipina for over six years. 

Having things to do together is absolutely vital to having a sustained relationship with a Filipina. If the man likes to do things outdoors, it is possible the Filipina would like to join him, although she probably wouldn’t like cold weather. A mutually enjoyable activity could be as simple as watching Netflix to see a movie you both agreed to. It is crucial to have mutually enjoyable activity with no matter the country your wife comes from. I’m just acknowledging that from thousands of miles away, a Filipina might be used to a fairly different kind of life.

Since I worked six days a week and was single for so long, I didn’t have much I could share with her when she arrived other than lifting weights which she doesn’t do. Maybe she will someday. I would ask your Filipina after she gets her visa, what are things she likes to do already, and what are some new things she’d like to do.

Listen to the podcast and I will reveal some activities my wife and I have learned to enjoy together.

140-5 Ways I Savor the Thrill of My Marriage

140-5 Ways I Savor the Thrill of My Marriage

August 9, 2021

“The sooner we let go of holding on, the sooner we can hold on to the beauty of what's unfolding before us. Nothing was ever meant to stay the same forever.” 
― Julieanne O'Connor---

The long-distance relationship process is certainly a thrill we’ll never forget and I want to encourage you to consider looking for a woman overseas. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and we’ll talk about anything that concerns a foreigner and Filipina relationship. Comments are always welcome and please share these videos for the sake of others who want to find love beyond the sea. You can see my videos on Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube and other outlets. Today I want to talk about savoring the thrill of international marriage, 5 ways I do it. I hope you will be able to do the same.

Those of you who know what it’s like to do something outrageous like go to another country to look for love, to marry a woman from the Philippines like I did, realize how wonderful and exciting the whole experience was and how glad you are that you did it. If you’re like me, you wish you could save time in a bottle and relive some of those moments. Jim Croce’s lyrics resonate with me-

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day
'Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go
Through time with

As with the opening quote, nothing was ever meant to stay the same forever. It’s bittersweet. You enjoy the moment so much and it can seem surreal pursuing a woman from the other side of the world, and you want to relive those thrills as often as you can, but you know that each day, you are a day removed from those moments. True, you’re building a future together, but even that is coming to an end sometime.

It’s a sobering reality and that’s why I talk now and then about the need to redeem the time, to take advantage of opportunities that may not be available in the future. I don’t even want to contemplate what I would be like had I not ventured out in faith to pursue my Aiza from across the world, even though we got married in less than two months. I recently made a video about how I’ve always felt comfortable with my Filipina wife, and will link that for you. I’ve been doing some reminiscing lately.

I’ve always operated with a strong sense of urgency; things need to get done. It took me many years to meet my wife but when I did, I acted quickly. I’m going to link a video called “Is time on your side?” Once the thrill of pursuit wears off, you soon realize that life moves on. At 59, I have a strong sense of urgency to make the best of the rest of it, and that includes savoring this huge moment of marrying a Filipina.

How do I savor our relationship? Listen to the Podcast to find out how.

139-Am I Qualified to Give Marriage Advice?

139-Am I Qualified to Give Marriage Advice?

August 5, 2021

Since I started my YouTube channel Love Beyond The Sea on Valentine’s Day in 2018, now and then I have gotten the comment generally saying that since I have not been married for very long, that I have absolutely no business whatsoever dispensing any marriage advice to anyone! How dare I! They say I have little experience with women and marriage.

Instead of retorting with “hey buddy, why don’t you mind your own business, who cares what you think?”, I think it is a reasonable comment which is why I want to address it here today. That kind of comment doesn’t bother me, it’s just that if someone actually believes that I should remain silent on women and marriage, that would bother me and I will explain why.

Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea. Over here, I try to share whatever I can from my own marriage that I believe can help men get and stay married. I don’t think many people at all, men or women, can handle being single. It’s just too tough of a lifestyle. It certainly wasn’t for me so I kept grinding looking for a wife, and finally found one in 2015 when I was the ripe old age of 53. I will link a YouTube playlist called Singleness that has 38 videos in it so you can learn about how I viewed being single for a protracted time. Can a long period of unwanted singleness help someone become a good husband?

Life experience-I wasn’t born yesterday. While I may have been “in the wilderness” for 30 years during the prime of my life-get ready for this-from 24 to 53, that doesn’t mean I didn’t soak up some knowledge that would help me be married. Oh, yes, I was still single from birth to 24 but I wasn’t looking for a wife during that time, but I had an epiphany at 24 that I better get looking for a wife. 30 years, later, God gave me one. Do you want to wait that long? They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but this kind of wait can ruin your life.

Since I didn’t expect to be alone that long, I started learning from every marriage resource I could get my hands on, such as books, tapes, and videos, marriage sermons, conversations. I wasn’t twiddling my thumbs while my youth was slowly vanishing. I was learning and I share that with my subscribers. Where is it written that someone has to have such and such amount of experience with women and marriage before they can give advice? I’ve been happily married for 6 years; do I have to be married for 20 years before I can talk about what works? Why do I think what I say has merit? Listen to the podcst for my full list of reasons.

138-What Can Go Wrong When You Don’t Listen to Your Filipina Wife

138-What Can Go Wrong When You Don’t Listen to Your Filipina Wife

August 1, 2021

Becoming a good listener can make your marriage the best it can be, and not being a good listener can make the woman you pursued to marry, feel unimportant and like she made a mistake. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for help to attract and have a good relationship with a Filipina. What I say works for any woman.

I want to be clear that my primary emphasis on Casting Beyond The Sea and Love Beyond The Sea is what the husband can do to keep his marriage on track. I am not interested in addressing the women, that’s the job of other women. Listening to your spouse goes both ways.

“How to communicate with your Filipina wife” is a live stream I will link for you

When you don’t listen-You can communicate a lack of interest by not listening intentionally or by not listening because you are so immersed in something else or disinterested in what someone else is saying.  Either way, it hurts a relationship.  For a marriage to be successful, the husband and his wife must be doing what is best for the other, and that starts with listening to each other.

There have been times I have asked my wife to tell me what I just said to her, to see if she was paying attention.  She has told me that if she is involved with something, to first ask her if she is listening, and that’s good to know, because when she is concentrating on something she is reading on her phone, it is almost impossible to get her attention. She says the magic words are “hon, are you listening?” 

There have been times where both of us have tried to keep our hands off our phones while at the dinner table.  That is a good time to chat a little but all too easy to get caught up in something on the phone. 

I will link a good article for you that touches on four things that happen when you don’t listen to your wife, Filipina or otherwise. Keep in mind the Bible verse that tells us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath-James 1:19.  This article was written by Mark Merrill.

http://www.markmerrill.com/what-happens-when-you-dont-listen-to-your-wife/ Mark Merrill Article

https://youtu.be/biyiMCDaPew How to Communicate With Your Filipina Wife

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