Casting Beyond the Sea
115 How Well Do You Know Your Filipina Wife?

115 How Well Do You Know Your Filipina Wife?

April 30, 2021

I found an article I liked and will link it for you as well as the questions in the description box, to a quiz about how well you know your Filipina.  Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for any help I can provide for foreigners interested in a Filipina or for those who already are; many of the topics can help anyone.  I only scored a 7.5 which is not all that good, but that doesn’t surprise me, especially when reading the part about how to understand your score. I will post the questions in the description box. I want to make marriage great again and think most people will be miserable alone.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201607/21-questions-test-how-well-you-really-know-your-partner

From the article-When you review your answers together, remember that it's your partner who decides whether you earn a point for each answer. 

Scoring is not the key to this quiz—the conversation is—but here's a possible scoring guide:

If you (or your partner) score 16+ points: You know your partner very well—and if you scored more than 16, and you've been with your partner for less than six months, you're probably a bit intense in your relationship style. 

If you score 10-15 points: You know your partner pretty well. In what categories do you know them less well? Maybe the two of you haven't talked much about your childhood experiences, or you've shied away from talking about topics related to negative emotions. Aim to learn the answers now.

If you score 5-9 points: Maybe you've only been together a short time, maybe you don't talk to each other much, or maybe your conversations tend to be of a particular type (e.g., you're both in the same profession and mainly talk about work.)  Ask yourself now if your personal lives or careers are so demanding that you're not getting a chance to talk and connect.  Would it be worth bringing more balance to your relationship?

If you score 0-4 points: The good news is there's lots of room for improvement here.

Why these questions? 

These questions are designed to tap into a range of positive and negative emotions. The questions about negative emotions and fears are included because strong relationships involve being willing to be vulnerable with each other. Questions about childhood are included because close couples typically understand the formative experiences that made each other who they are today. And the lighter, more fun questions are included because it's important to have conversations about your positive emotions, too. 

(Note: These questions are designed for people who have been together for several years or more. If your relationship is newer, adjust your expectations accordingly.)

114 Believe The Best of your Filipina Wife

114 Believe The Best of your Filipina Wife

April 28, 2021

How good are you at convincing your Filipina wife that you are going to be with her forever; be her forever man? Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I can help you to see the value in a Filipina wife, how to be good to her, and how to have a successful marriage to her. I have been working through this myself for over six years now, and am always eager to share what I learn. I’d appreciate you sharing these podcasts to help other men discover this channel. I want to make marriage great again, and that includes yours, which is why this is higher Fil-West education.

My wife needs to know that she doesn’t have to be perfect for me. I don’t want to dwell on her faults, I want to major in her positives. I want her to know I look forward to coming home to her and that I want us to be together as much as possible.

Your Filipina needs to know you support her 100 % and are there for her all the time, no matter what, for the rest of your life. She understands she isn’t perfect and friction is inevitable. She knows she will need her husband’s forgiveness. You need it to. There has to be a confidence that the two of you are in it for the long haul, come what may. But this doesn’t happen naturally, it takes effort.

Learn about believing the best of your wife here today on Casting Beyond The Sea.

113 Big Decision with my Filipina Wife-Love Her or L$st Her?

113 Big Decision with my Filipina Wife-Love Her or L$st Her?

April 23, 2021

You know those tv shows where people are making decisions on getting an upgraded house, keeping their current one, doing renovations? My wife likes to watch those with my mom and the other day when I was curled up with her (my wife), I had the idea to consider if maybe I should do something similar with her. Subscribe to Casting Beyond the Sea and Love Beyond the Sea videos on YouTube, and get the best insight into marriage with a Filipina. This is higher Fil-West education at exactly no charge to you. Subscribing on Podbean will give you insight you won’t find anywhere else.

My wife likes the show Love It or L$st it. There’s a lot of drama sometimes. Moving from one place you’ve been comfortable with to another place and kind of starting over again, is a big decision to make. You don’t want to suffer buyer’s remorse, so how do you make the right choice? Watching this program got me thinking about what I would do with my Aiza if I had the choice.

112 My Filipina Wife Does it Good

112 My Filipina Wife Does it Good

April 22, 2021

Today I want to be real honest about one of the many ways my wife from the Philippines makes my life so much better. I needed someone when I started pursuing a woman to marry. As it turned out, my little woman is someone who is fulfilling God’s will for her life in part by being my wife, and, I am doing likewise for her. Try to see how many controversial things are said here. I don’t try to say things that are unpopular; it’s just that I see things differently than many.

Wikipedia tells me that Paul McCartney and Wings 1973 song "My Love (does it good)" was given an unfavorable reception by many music critics, some of whom considered it overly sentimental and lyrically inconsequential. I think some people think the same about Casting Beyond the Sea and Love Beyond The Sea YouTube videos.

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong?

We have answers here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

https://www.gotquestions.org/woman-helper-suitable.html

111 Should Divorce Be Permitted if only One person wants it?

111 Should Divorce Be Permitted if only One person wants it?

April 21, 2021

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1262065

This isn’t a trick question. On the surface it may sound like a sensible thing, but as someone who is married to a Filipina, to a woman I married in less than eight weeks, who makes videos to help make marriage great again, I really don’t like that sentiment. I picked this comment out from a feminist writer in China, from an article that has several things that stood out to me, and I wanted to comment on a few of those. I will link the article at the top of the description box. Will this upload end up in the Controversial Collection Playlist on YouTube? You can decide.

I will touch on the “cooling off period” law and why a Chinese legal expert thinks it is a good idea. 

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I do my best to describe what love is and show you, in my own life. I think we need more of that in this ever-confused world we live in. I don’t want you to be confused. China has a newly introduced law that is essentially a 30-day cooling off period when it comes to divorce and I want to share that with you today. This is a Fil-West higher education channel-no tuition necessary, although a subscription to Casting Beyond The Sea will suffice.

110 Analyzing Apology-How to Apologize to Your Filipina Wife

110 Analyzing Apology-How to Apologize to Your Filipina Wife

April 20, 2021

https://www.growthtrac.com/art-apology-men/

Today I want to utilize a brief article from growthtrac.com that is linked above.  I think it is a wonderful and easy way to understand how to apologize. It is exactly what any husband needs to know. A foreign husband and Filipina wife, perhaps a good deal younger than he is, is a union that may result in more opportunities for conflict that leads to the need for an apology.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for helpful advice for foreigners in a relationship with a Filipina or who would like to be. I want to make marriage great again. Going where you’re wanted might mean considering a woman from the Philippines.

You already know there will be many times you will do something or say something that causes hurt to the Filipina, because men and women have a tendency to do that, because we are sinners. And there are times you’ll say something that upsets someone and you don’t know why it would.  Apologizing requires more than saying “I’m sorry.” This article explains why that is and the best way to apologize.

What tends to get me in trouble are my words. Sometimes it is the tone of my voice and other times, all I have to do is make a certain face and I know I am in trouble. I have been told that sometimes when I’m mad, I look like I could kill someone and I believe that. I am an emotional person and don’t like to hold anything in. What someone like me needs to learn to do is to “get it out” with the right words, not the wrong ones, focusing on the problem, without doing it in a way that makes someone feel like they are being attacked.

Here are the five apology lanuages from the link above that I will talk about.

Language #1: Expressing Regret

Language #2: Accepting Responsibility

Language #3: Making Restitution

Language #4: Genuine Repentance

Language #5: Requesting Forgiveness

109 Age gap Concern? How People View Us in Public

109 Age gap Concern? How People View Us in Public

April 16, 2021

I am making this podcast to accommodate a viewer request.  They asked for a video to address the perception of people when we are in public due to our large age gap.  Whether we are in America or the Philippines, my wife has never made a comment on how anyone has reacted to us in public. If I had a camera I’d be interested in people’s responses, or maybe not, it wouldn’t affect our marriage one way or the other. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea, the channel that wants to make marriage great again. I go into a lot of detail because this is a channel for higher Fil-West education, and you should be prepared for what married life with a Filipina is like.

Honestly the only observation I have is from the Philippines, and that is on the third time I was there.  Only then did I perceive anyone even looking at me, and that was in the mall we usually went. There were a lot of people there, and not all that many foreigners, but I did notice some men looking at me with Aiza nearby. For all I know, the reason they were looking was because I was a foreigner, not that I was with a Filipina.  I would describe the looks as a pensive stare. The kind that makes you feel like you are being scrutinized a little.

When we met with her friends, some of them married, all were polite and friendly, I felt like I could talk to them, nothing was out of the ordinary. But what about here in America, is it a different story? Where have we been out in public? Find out now by listening to the podcast.

108 Filipinas-More Ways to Love Your Husband

108 Filipinas-More Ways to Love Your Husband

April 14, 2021

I am going to give you a link in the description box of 100 ways a wife can show her husband that she loves him.  In this podcast I will talk about some of the ones that are important to me, and how you might suggest this need to your wife.  My intent is for the foreign husband to be able to look through this, and highlight the things that he thinks his wife needs to know about him. I am only going to cover the ones that I need to express to my wife.

This is more challenging for some men than others, but I want to make it easy for you. It may have been written for women to use, but I am going to turn it around so that the man makes the first move here. I think it is important that he be able to openly talk to his wife about what he needs her to do to show him love.

Here is the complete list-

SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband:

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.

Other Suggestions:

11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN!
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of mainly focusing on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Try to make the first few minutes he comes home from work a positive experience. Ease into the negative.
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Look for things you can complement about your husband. Let him know your appreciation often.

More Ways to Show Love:

20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk abouthim. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.

Other Ideas:

30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings.
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is.
36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).
38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.
39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.

Remember, all of these “ways to love” are only suggestions:

41. Take special notice of what he does for you and the family.
42. Brag about him to other people in front of him andwhen he’s not there.
43. Keep conversations brief when he’s tired—so he isn’t “flooded” by too many words.
44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.
45. Honor him in front of the children (differ in private when necessary).
46. “Look into your husband’s eyes when he talks to you. This makes him feel that you’re interested.” (J. Clain)
47. Get up with him, and pray with him to start your day together.
48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Participate in shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.
50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.

More Suggestions:

51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time and space to recover.
52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”
54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.
56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).
58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”
59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.
60. Do little things for him—let him sleep in, bring him coffee, etc.
61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.

Want more suggestions? Read on…

62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.
63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.
68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.
69. Don’t quarrel over words.
70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)

More Suggestions to Consider:

71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.
72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”
73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.
74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.
76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.
77. Tell him you love him more often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.
79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.

Here are the Last 20 SUGGESTIONS… Keep Gleaning:

80. Don’t expect him to read your mind (despite your thinking he should— extend grace).
81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.
82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff, when possible.
83. Put effort in to keep yourself in good shape so he’s especially proud to be with you.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”
86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity intact.
87. Visit his childhood home with him.
88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.

Other Suggestions:

91. Look your best—dress to honor and make him proud to be seen with you when you’re out together.
92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.
93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Cheer his successes whether in it’s related to business or other areas of everyday living.
96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.
97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

The author is unknown, for the list of “100 Ways.”

https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/

107 Filipinas, How to Love Your Husband

107 Filipinas, How to Love Your Husband

April 9, 2021

I am going to give you a link in the description box of 100 ways a Filipina wife can show her husband that she loves him.  In this podcast I will talk about some of the ones that are important to me, and how you might suggest this need to your wife.  My intent is for the foreign husband to be able to look through this, and highlight the things that he thinks his wife needs to know about him. I am only going to cover the ones that I need to express to my wife.

This is more challenging for some men than others, but I want to make it easy for you. It may have been written for women to use, but I am going to turn it around so that the man makes the first move here. I think it is important that he be able to openly talk to his Filipina wife about what he needs her to do to show him love.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea for practical, honest help with being a loving husband to a Filipina. I am thrilled to be married to my Amazing Aiza, through the ups and downs and frequently recommend a Filipina as the type of woman to look for. There will likely be things I will learn from this list that I hadn’t even thought about talking to my wife about. Remember, for the purpose of this video I want the man to be able to express his need for his wife in these areas, the ones that apply to him. If you already are then good for you, the main message here is to speak up.

I think you will enjoy looking through this list.  I just got into it a little bit and already can tell a trend or pattern with what is important to me, and not surprisingly it corresponds to my particular love language which is words.  Touch is important to me too.  I am not likely to tell my wife it is important for me to receive a gift from her (although if that IS her love-language I need to embrace that). I am not likely to want her to necessarily do things for me (that would be the language of service). To show you what I mean, I will run through examples that would pertain to someone like me, and you can see where you would need to let your Filipina know how she could make you feel more loved.

Listen to the podcast for many ways to know how to love your husband.

https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/ 

SUGGESTIONS on How to Show Love to Your Husband: (covered today)

1. Respectfully communicate with him.
2. Let him know he’s important to you.
3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.
4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.
5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)
6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.
7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (D Ramsey)
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. When confronting him, realize he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.

Other Suggestions:

11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving time to adjust.
12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems. Have FUN!
13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of mainly focusing on the negatives.
14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.
15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.
16. Try to make the first few minutes he comes home from work a positive experience. Ease into the negative.
17. Give him time to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)
18. Don’t allow family members to treat him disrespectfully. Defend him to anyone that dishonors his place as your husband.
19. Look for things you can complement about your husband. Let him know your appreciation often.

More Ways to Show Love:

20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.
21. Talk with him about having specific family goals to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.
22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Find ways to show him you need him.
25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)
26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk abouthim. Love protects (1 Cor. 13:7).
28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.
29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.

Other Ideas:

30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk (schedule it when necessary).
31. Initiate going out on romantic outings.
32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift that he’d really enjoy.
34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is.
36. Talk in loving, not in nagging or belittling ways.

 

106 51-100 Practical ways to make your Filipina feel loved  Part 2

106 51-100 Practical ways to make your Filipina feel loved Part 2

April 5, 2021

I have a list of 100 ways to love a woman, our interest being a Filipina, that is from marriagemissions.com and is from an anonymous author and I will link it in the description box. These are all practical and not mysterious. In the last upload I covered the first 50, today I will go over the other half.

Please subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea where I aim to make marriage great again and provide Fil-Am Higher Education. Videos can be seen on Love Beyond The Sea, which can be found on YouTube and lvbts.com

If you can do these kinds of things, your chances of having a solid and lasting relationship with a Filipina go way up. I have maintained the man, the husband needs to lead or give direction to the relationship, and here are some good ways how, and remember that much of what I talk about can be used with any woman, so that is great for you guys who are thinking a woman from overseas might not be the way to go. Here are 50 additional ways to make your Filipina feel loved.

51. Maintain good grooming habits so you look and smell good. It shows you care.
52. Be supportive. Help her to finish her education and goals that are important to her.
53. View and treat her as if God put a sign over her that said, “Make me feel special.”
54. Run errands without complaining.
55. Give her the love gift of being thoughtful and considerate to her relatives.
56. Don’t negatively compare her relatives with yours.
57. Sit close to her —even when you are just watching television.
58. Be verbally supportive and honor her in front of the children.
59. Do not make plans without her agreeing with them (unless it’s a surprise).
60. Pro-actively do things that makes her feel cherished as a woman and as a wife.

Plus:

61. Keep her trust at all costs. Leave no gray area when it comes to other female relationships, money and your word.(Dave Ramsey)
62. Ask for a list of 3 things she’d like done in the home. Do them ASAP.
63. Ask her and then listen to what makes her feel insecure (without judging).
64. Pray and act upon what you can do to alleviate those fears.
65. Find out what her sexual needs are (and then try to fulfill them).
66. Surprise her with a 15 second kiss (with no expectations to go further).
67. Keep yourself in good shape so she’s especially proud to be with you.
68. Write a mission statement together for your marriage, and family.
69. Physically touch her every day—even if it’s only for a minute or two.
70. Be polite and kind. (Often, we’re kinder to strangers than we are to our spouse.)

71. Be sensitive enough to ask her if you offend or hurt her sexually in any way.
72. Go out of your way to help her feel valued over everyone else.
73. Consider her as your marital partner in how you spend money.
74. You dated your wife before marriage, and fell in love. Date her now to STAY in love.
75. Be careful to choose your words, especially when angry.
76. Show affection for her in front of friends.
77. Make sure your children speak to her and treat her in respectful ways.
78. Make a point of honoring anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions.
79. Make sure she has money to spend any way she would choose.
80. Hold her close and verbally express your love when she is hurt or discouraged.

Lastly:

81. Surprise her by giving her a special gift from time to time.
82. Share the responsibilities around the house (without looking for special recognition).
83. Don’t tease and belittle her, saying “I was just joking” when she doesn’t find it funny.
84. Allow her to express herself freely, without fear of being called illogical or dumb.
85. Don’t forget to hold her hand in public like you used to when you dated her.
86. Don’t criticize her in front of others—keeping her dignity intact.
87. Don’t focus on the physical features of another woman (It dishonors your wife).
88. Be sensitive to her needs—looking for ways to bless her.
89. Let her know you want to spend special time with her and the children.

90. Fix dinner for her sometimes.
91. Be sympathetic when she’s sick—and help her however you can.
92. Let her sleep in sometimes and you get the children ready for the day.
93. Honor her by not disagreeing with her in front of the children.
94. Don’t ignore the small things that bother her and let them build into bigger issues.
95. Surprise her by doing some things around the house that she’s wanted done.
96. Tell her (and show her) you love her often.
97. Call, email or text her when you’re apart so she knows you are thinking of her.
98. Surprise her by suggesting a marriage seminar or weekend retreat you can attend together.
99. Express your love and appreciation for her in a love note which you give to her.
100. Show her affection without sexual intentions.

https://marriagemissions.com/100-ways-love-husband/

Podbean App

Play this podcast on Podbean App