March 5, 2021
This is a continuation of a previous podcast about how to know your Filipina well after you marry her. Of course, there are some things you want to know before you get married but the learning experience doesn’t stop there. Today I will talk about some more ways to keep learning about your Filipina wife. Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea and learn about finding and experiencing marital love. Leave comments and get notifications for upcoming videos. Here are some learning opportunities-
Being away from family-While your Filipina wife could likely still spend time with family while in the Philippines, being so very far away will be something she may not have had a chance to experience. If she had been a OFW she has a head start in this regard, if not, you will be learning and helping her make this big adjustment. You will learn how much time she spends on social media and need to be sensitive to that. If it is too much, then it will be important to find a way a good way to allow her to continue doing this but not so much that it interferes with your ability to relate to her.
How she is adjusting to your country-You won’t be able to know this until after marriage also. How is she adjusting to the different currency? The colder weather? Your family? The different food? Being away from her long-time friends? The language? Anything new to her will be something she could use your help with adjusting to. How will she handle making and having more money than ever before? You will discover how eager she is to ask for help for certain things.
Her health-Her health will also be something you will need to learn about as it is possible that she wasn’t able to or avoided regular-check-ups with a doctor. She might have some issues but not know it. These are just some ways the Filipina’s husband will learn more about his wife and can be supportive and understanding.
What a Filipina needs: Here are some areas I believe your Filipina absolutely will need you to understand about her after you are married-I will post some links where some of this info comes from.
Listen to her sincerely: Observe her words, body language, and circumstances in order to compassionately understand her. Make eye contact with her, and ask thoughtful questions, like “How did that affect you?” or basic who/what/where/when/why/how questions. Study her, what pressure is she under? What does she need to feel loved? What are her passions, her skills, gifts and abilities? What energizes her? What does she despise? What does she need to feel safe? Is there someone in her life who is bothering her?
To Know She's Loved-You will need to learn how she needs you to express it to her, as we talked about earlier.
Understanding and Forgiveness-Forgiveness is a necessity to remaining married to someone.
Real Conversation-Having left everything to be with a foreign husband, she will need him to be available to talk to her about more than just the bills, taking care of the children, are chores getting done. A Filipina might tend to be quiet so it helps if the foreigner asks her regularly how she is feeling, if he can do anything for her, if her needs are getting met, etc.
Quality Time With Her (and Your Children)-My wife is able to keep busy without me but there are times she needs me to just be with her, just to eat with her, to rest in bed together. She doesn’t always need to be talking to me. The Filipina will have to decide what quality time means. What it means to me is simply just being with my wife. It can also mean sharing the moment at a movie or watching something on TV. It can mean having a serious talk about something too.
To Hear "Yes" More Than "No"-Not yes always but she shouldn’t be afraid or not confident she can ask you for something or to do something. You can know before marrying her that she will want to hear “yes” more often than she hears “no”.
Better Listening Skills-You can already know that your Filipina will need you to learn how to be a good listener. You know how it is, as guys we tend to think that being a good listener means quickly grasping what the problem is that she is having and then giving a salient solution. But this really isn’t about comprehension or solution, it is about letting her say what’s on her mind, what’s bothering her, and being able to remain silent.
Listen to the podcast for even more ways to learn aobut your Filipina wife AFTER marriage, which is when most of it is going to happen.