Casting Beyond the Sea
George and Chip have been following some trolls

George and Chip have been following some trolls

February 27, 2021

Chip called me to other day and wanted to tell me about a few more comments about me from a Word Press site I think it is. It is flattering to be noticed but I would like to be noticed for more than my hair, which by the way, has never been proved to be fake. We like to keep it real on Casting Beyond The Sea.

This is what goes on out there in the Philippines vlogging scene.

Don't let some people's comments prevent you from casting your net beyond the sea to find love.

Live-Granny Hair, Fake Eye Bags, Woman with Mustache and Giuliani’s Gawk

Live-Granny Hair, Fake Eye Bags, Woman with Mustache and Giuliani’s Gawk

February 26, 2021

This topic will relate to male-female relationships.

I want to talk about and hear what you think about why some women are dying their hair gray. Others have now started to paint on eye bags. Another woman talks about her decision to not shave her mustache or between her eye brows.

Then there is the so-called controversial remarks by former New York Mayor Rudy Giulliani when he watched Michelle Wie West putt.

It starts at 6 pm Central Time USA tonight on my sister YouTube channel Love Beyond The Sea.

I would like to see you there!

 

 

Our Proof of Relationship and My Wife’s Immigration Interview

Our Proof of Relationship and My Wife’s Immigration Interview

February 25, 2021

The immigration process requires some proof that your fiancé or marital relationship is not a fraud.  Marital fraud is big business.  We used Christian Filipina's visa service and they helped make sure we had what we needed.  Here is what we included-

My wife printed transcripts of chats we had from Skype and Viber. I don’t know how she did it, but since all of her evidence was many pages long so we had to pare it down.

I tried to have a page of pertinent dates like any early conversation, when I proposed, chats about our families, chats about wedding and travel plans.

You only need 10 or less pages of communication, so we wanted it to be relative. While you might be tempted to want to provide voluminous amounts of transcripts and similar proof of your relationship, it is doubtful your agent will recommend that, so if you do it yourself, just provide the most pertinent information.

Listen to the podcast for more proof of relationship tips here on Casting Beyond The Sea.

What to do if you have been Scammed by a Filipina

What to do if you have been Scammed by a Filipina

February 18, 2021

Perhaps you have had the misfortune of being scammed by a Filipina.  You thought you had a good relationship going but were tricked for money.  This could happen with any nationality, even your own.  You could decide to never pursue a Filipina again.  Or you could try to learn from what happened and give it another try. 

I married a Filipina who has been a great wife to me, after many years of being rejected by other women.  There are a lot of women as potential wives when considering the whole world and Filipinas still make good wives.

In this short podcast I will share some do's and don'ts when it comes to recovering from being scammed in a long distance relationship.

 

Why I am Warming Up to Retiring in the Philippines

Why I am Warming Up to Retiring in the Philippines

February 18, 2021

Before I left the Philippines the first time I went there, for the purpose of marrying my wife, her mother asked me if I would be back some day to the Philippines.  My answer was an honest “No, I doubt it, it is too far away and the trip is hard on my back.”  I was sincere.  I couldn’t see myself going through the four flights and seemingly endless trip, risking severe back discomfort and the heat of the Philippines.  I was ok with my wife going back to visit, but I felt like the first time was going to be the last time.  That was in 2015, but things have changed.

Wouldn’t you know it, only fifteen months later, which was seven months after my wife arrived in America, we both vacationed in the Philippines. I was` prepared with pain meds and a resolve to relax and find a way to sleep on the planes.  I don’t recall exactly why we went back so soon but perhaps that can be chalked up to her missing her family.  I also don’t recall putting up much resistance to making another trip to the Philippines, despite the reasons I had for not returning that I voiced the first time I was there.  Going this time would be a lot different because I would not be doing it alone.  I discovered my wife was adept at handling all the airport necessities.

Subscribe to Casting Beyond The Sea to learn what it’s like being married to a Filipina; a woman from the Philippines. 

Today I will talk about my reasons for a change of heart regarding possibly retiring in the Philippines.

 

Live Stream Friday February 12 at 5 pm Central USA on YouTube

Live Stream Friday February 12 at 5 pm Central USA on YouTube

February 11, 2021

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCODSsYXEslJ4UQXT4LAStQQ

I will talk about The Kind of Man a Filipina Falls in Love with.

If you would like to watch me on a live stream on YouTube Friday evening is your chance and I want to be able to interact with you there. 

I haven't done a planned live stream in many months so I am excited to do another one. I just want to give you the chance to be there and ask questions and leave comments.

That's on Love Beyond The Sea on YouTube at the link above.

See you there. I don't want it to be a long one.

 

 

 

Are you comfortable with a Filipina contacting you first?

Are you comfortable with a Filipina contacting you first?

February 11, 2021

I believe the man should be the pursuer of the wife.  He is the one with the drive to marry, women want to be married.  In my own case, I winked at my wife on maybe March 17, 2015 and she quickly responded back somehow.  We connected and agreed to chat later and that’s how it began.  On our 18th day I proposed to her!  All I had was a single photo to go by as her profile was so new.  I was merely letting her know I found her attractive.  When she indicated a willingness to talk, that was my chance to ask what I needed to ask in order to see if she would make me a good wife and if she thought I would make her a good husband.

Other women made the first move by sending me a chat request, sending a message to my inbox, or even a wink.   How should I feel about that?  Is it wrong for a woman to do this?  Is this being too aggressive? Is she being out of place?

Listen to the podcast "Are you comfortable with a Filipina contacting you first?" and you'll see why maybe some men are not in favor of this idea.

Mistakes I’ve learned from in our Fil-Am Marriage

Mistakes I’ve learned from in our Fil-Am Marriage

February 8, 2021

I’ve talked about many things that I have learned in my marriage to my Filipina wife, that help me to be the kind of husband she wants to have. Marriage is two opposite worlds colliding and on Casting Beyond The Sea and Love Beyond The Sea, that’s my interest-marriage. If you want to be married to a woman from the Philippines, you know there are many differences if you are from the west and I can help you with that; I have to know what I am talking about because I intend to stay married.

I wanted my wife to know that I was going to be a strong leader from the start of us being together but learned that backfired a few times early on as I asserted myself the wrong way.  Christ is the head of the church and countless times we ignore his claim of authority over us and he is patient and longsuffering with us.  Yes, you are the head of your Filipina wife, but often you will find yourself learning to love the way the Bible describes love-1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says-Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Take it outside-If I was fuming due to another unexpected and unexplained cable bill increase or phone bill increase, I’ve learned to simply go outside and walk around the block if I felt like I was going to erupt at customer service. 

Stay calm with everyone-I have learned I need to focus more energy on simple fact-finding and try not to take things so personally like with customer services which can drive me crazy. 

Give her space-A mistake you’d be making early on in your marriage to a Filipina would be thinking she is going to be so overjoyed being in your country with you rescuing her from extreme poverty, that she will not complain about anything.  She is going to cry many times due to homesickness. 

Don’t try to change her-As with the previously mentioned grocery shopping experience, I can’t force her to not sometimes eat something like a doughnut, or ice cream since I like it myself.  I also think it is important to let her know I don’t want her to get fat.  To be fair, I have decided to not overdo it myself.

Don’t try to own her-I am glad that my wife wanted to work at the company I worked for 40 years.  However, if she had wanted to try something else, I should let her explore that. 

Like what she likes-Her family for sure, her favorite movies, singers.  She likes to travel and I had never had a desire to travel but I have decided to sacrifice my football and basketball tickets to the university so we can either travel within the country or so she can have the opportunity to go back to the Philippines as often as she needs to.

Knowing my rough spots-I value closure to a very high degree so I am well aware if there is the chance something could get delayed then I will be challenged to not get stressed out.  I like things to work in a straight line and of course that’s not the way it usually is. 

Hair today, gone tomorrow-I'll talk about head and facial hair.

Learn about your wife-Understand her.  The Bible tells husbands to dwell with their wives in an understanding way.  This takes patience, observation, and asking questions.  I should want to understand my wife a lot more than I understand my job or my favorite sports team.  She is so much more valuable. 

I pray God gives me a lot of years with my Love Beyond The Sea!

Things that can Frustrate you with your Filipina Wife

Things that can Frustrate you with your Filipina Wife

February 6, 2021

Continuing with experiences we’ve had that have caused some conflict, but I have learned from. By the way, my wife has learned and adjusted as well in nearly six years of marriage. Subscribe to Love Beyond The Sea for practical relational information in a marriage. I don’t advocate just having a girlfriend, that seems silly for an adult. Get yourself a wife, that’s what you need, that’s where the benefits are. Here are some tidbits from the podcast:

Learning to trust-She has left everything to be my wife.  I told her even before we married that as much as possible, I would defer to her unless I had a good reason to say no.  There was a time she wanted me to know about a possible financial opportunity for us (I won’t say what it was exactly), and I wasn’t sure about it but I asked her if she thought this was the best way to use the money right now then we could do it.

Biblical submission-A very much misunderstood truth.  Some believe the Bible says we are all to submit to each other but that is wrong.  Children-Parents, Workers-Bosses, People-Government, Wives-Husbands.  The Bible even says “The head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is the man and the head of Christ is God.” (1Cor.11:3) I think in part 3 of the Stinking Thinking series, I talk about this more in depth.

There are many passages about this.  Here are three keys for this video-

  1. Husbands and wives need the Holy Spirit to fulfill their biblical roles of husband the protector and provider and the one who sacrifices his life, and the wife as submissive helper. Remember Genesis 2:18?
  2. IF the husband is loving his wife the way Ephesians 5 teaches him to do, giving up his life for her, the wife is in an environment where submission is made easier.
  3. Being the head means-influence, responsibility, servant leadership.

I have a multiple part series on ‘How to earn the respect of your Filipina” that I believe will be helpful to you to be the kind of man your wife will want to submit to.

Food for thought-When we were first together, we went grocery shopping a lot.  I have to tell you I love my wife’s body.  I tell her all the time how her little 4’11” 92 pound body drives me crazy!  When I saw her reaching for potato chips, doughnuts, pizza, I was aghast.  She jokes with me that she wants to “put on 10 kilos”.  When I would point out why so many foods are not really food at all and will make you unhealthy, she took it as me trying to control what she ate.  I want her to eat good food, I don’t want her to eat like many American women.  She would comment now and then how I wanted to control everything she eats which was an exaggeration. 

The early bird gets the….night owl frustrated-Wouldn’t you know it, but I married a night owl when I am an early bird.  I don’t think anything good happens after 8 pm!  I have almost always worked a first shift job and like to take my time in the morning getting ready, which includes breakfast and a little internet.  My wife is not an early bird.  I get up an hour and a half before leaving for work and my wife gets up ten to twelve minutes before she leaves.

Have you seen the instructions?-Another way that resulted in conflict was that my wife had not been used to using a lot of modern appliances before.  I am very proud of her for learning how to use them, however early on I thought she was overloading the dishwasher, and washer and dryer. It is something that I’ve decided to just let go for the sake of harmony.  I tell myself that number one she probably believes she is doing her best to organize the space in dishwasher and number two that eventually she will see for herself if some of the dishes won’t be clean.  Number three is that I am very happy she insists it is her responsibility to take care of the house so I need to learn to back off some and let her do the job.

Clothes minded-After my wife arrived, she started buying me clothes that she thought would make me look younger and better. I rarely wear any of my other clothes now but they are still in the closet.  I may have balked a little at first but once again I needed to remind myself that she really was making me dress better and that shows she cares about how I look and how others see me.  At work she made me a sharp dressed man.  Some of her coworkers asked her if I am a supervisor which I am not.  I appreciate what my little woman has done here. 

Hair we go again-When we got married in the Philippines, I knew she didn’t like my hair style as she is used to seeing short hair on men in the Philippines.  Before she arrived to be with me, I cut my hair on my own just to please her.  Since she has gotten here, she has wanted me to cut it even shorter which I have obliged.  I have to admit it has been an improvement, at least I am liking it now. 

Stay tuned for the final part of this series that can help you get off to a good start with your Love Beyond The Sea!

Social Media, Sex and Your Own Space Fil-Am Marriage tips

Social Media, Sex and Your Own Space Fil-Am Marriage tips

February 6, 2021

Here are a couple of the things I will talk about today:

Social Media-A source of conflict early on was her use of social media.  I have no problem with her using Facebook for example, but she tended to spend a lot of time with it.  To her credit, she decided to not use her phone for that when we used to have break together at work (we sat together).  I like to use YouTube and Google a lot, so I can relate.  She can work 12-hour days then spend three hours on Facebook while we are in bed.  When she arrived in America in January of 2016, I remember us falling asleep together, and I got used to that because I love it.  I look forward to the nights we fall asleep cheek to cheek holding hands!

Over time she started to look at Facebook when we went to bed and I felt ignored.  IF your wife does this, I could see where you might get angry with her.  Fortunately, as much as this irritated me, I never got ballistic or anything like that.  I gently or more firmly let her know that I was feeling ignored sometimes and she apologized.  This could have been the source for a big blow up but it did not happen.  Here is how I dealt with this:

  1. I understood how much it meant to her to keep up with family and friends.
  2. I understood how much she enjoyed looking at videos. I relish the internet too.
  3. She doesn’t bother me about my internet use, so I didn’t want to bother her.
  4. I calmly described to her how I felt when I felt ignored.
  5. I started showing an interest in her family when she was on Skype with them.
  6. I started showing an interest in what she was looking at.

Behind closed doors-Sex is obviously important in a marriage.  This kind of intimacy is crucial in my opinion, for a good marriage.  This is such an important area to not struggle with. Interest will be higher and lower for each of you at different times for whatever reasons.  You should discuss this during your marriage so both of you know exactly what the other wants. 

As with rules for who to marry, the Bible is fairly silent on what to do too.  It comes down to doing what pleases your spouse and there are no rules.  This time is for the married couple to do whatever they want! In fairness, a younger wife has more capacity for intimacy than you do, if there is a large age gap.  The Bible’s command is that sex is for the OTHER person, that we don’t have power over our own bodies, our spouse does.

As special as intimacy is in a marriage it sure can be involved in the most discouragement.  Some people laugh at the idea of talking about when to have it, or to agree to have it on certain days but I think it is absolutely wise to communicate.  Some times are just not good times due to fatigue or being upset or having a bad day at work or just feeling tired.  I don’t think good sex is going to just happen, I do believe you have to be smart about the timing and frequency.  I don’t think that takes away from romance or desire.  It is not automatic as some people seem to think.

It has been said that a healthy sexual relationship is the barometer of a healthy marriage.  I don’t intend to dissect every word of that, but I want to say that it should be a goal of each spouse to have a good sexual relationship.  This is where self-control, communication and unselfishness factor in. We must avoid conflict here.  Like with her Facebook use, I had to learn how to deal with this by:

  1. Not pressuring her to do it.
  2. Calmly explaining my need or desire for it, even how often a week.
  3. Not expecting or demanding what I wanted.
  4. Being understanding when she says she is too tired.
  5. Always wanting her to be satisfied, even if I am not. Her needs come first.
  6. Telling her how much I appreciate her sex. Now I whisper thank you when we are done.
  7. If she knows that I want to give up my life for her, make her dreams come true, help her family, support her helping her family, compliment her often, sacrifice for her, that helps her to be receptive. When we come together, it will be a by-product of how we treat each other and this should be great incentive to not force her.
  8. Reminding ourselves that the Bible says our bodies belong to each other, the Bible says “the husband has not power over his own body, but the wife…render unto each other the due benevolence.” This is NOT the way the world thinks and is a good thing to know before marrying her.

Listen to the podcast for more things to consider to smooth over tensions in your marriage to a Filipina, or any woman for that matter.

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